Tag Archives: equality and oneness

“Guilt” Illustration by Andrew Gable

I started this drawing simply as self support. I had been doing a few other drawings at the time related to more specific illustrations for Desteni related projects and so I decided to do a “drawing for myself” just as a point to “loosen Up” Which I saw would be supportive on multiple levels.

One, to simply explore a different subject with my drawing tablet which I started using now about 2 months ago and so just exploring what is possible with it (digital drawing) and also just building up my ability within using it.

This then would intern assist with developing more specific skills for further refining the projects I was/am busy with, within desteni.

It also was a point of supporting me within a point/experience I was going through at the time.

This drawing actually initiated from a pain I had in my back. This pain was quite heavy and I decided to rather than just allow myself to “do what the pain wants” which is just to go relax and lay down in my bed, that I would find a way to be directive and so thus decided to make a drawing about it.

I have in the past also made similar themed drawings where I look at how to describe my experience or an experience or pain that I have had or am having using Art, and this was one of those artworks.

It is also about provding an image that can be used as support within the context of the desteni material and walking process – Naturally, everything I do now in art is within the context of walking process as this has slowly but surely become the total context of my life.

In starting the drawing I initially thought I would call the drawing “depression” as the pain I experienced in my back I saw more within the context of depression, as that heaviness that comes over oneself where in they really don’t feel like doing much. But that is precisely why I decided to rather do the drawing, because I required to give myself direction instead of accepting and allowing myself to be directed by this point of depression because in doing that, that would have just perpetuated the entire point/experience. I realized this and so rather decided to make the drawing as a point of support to not just continue to give into this point of depression and just wanting to “be depressed and do nothing” I also thought it would be good because then I would actually give this specific pain within my back some specific attention as I looked at and began the process of describing it using visual means. This way I really start to find words and ways to describe the experience/pain within myself.

I actually “missed the point” in the drawing which initially I was a bit frustrated about. Where once I had done the initial layout, I was seeing that my “description” or “Illustration” was not depicting/describing the actual experience/pain I was having. But this took a while to do the layout so just decided to follow the point through and remember to next time make sure I am more specific in making sure I get that exact point/pain/experience of self.

But for this one, I thought I’d just see the point through to also see if this frustration I had at “missing the point” was in fact real because I had had experiences before where I initially don’t like how some drawings are going but do not give up at that point and just push through that  frustration, and end up satisfied in the end – Thus I decided to just keep going with it. I have done many drawings where it seems like it is “not working” for while to then push through that experience and find on the other side I am satisfied.

So I placed in the word “Guilt” today and I could actually relate to the image even though it was not exactly what I had intended to do in the beginning.

What I see is the following.

Stop guilt before guilt stops you!

If you look at the being in the image – he is completely weighed down by his guilt as the heavy rocks which he has accumulated through time. Eventually the guilt will hault you in your tracks.

This drawing shows that it is really impractical to carry around your guilt. And that you in fact can’t, because eventually it will just weigh you down until you are stopped in your tracks and in a way forced to let go of it.

This is interesting because I did not intend to illustrate this point as how I am now relating to it – so from a certain perspective the drawing is actually showing me something that I did not intend and was not expecting. Yet at the same time I was exploring a point within myself and ended up seeing an aspect of myself though not what I expected – Cool!

So yes, I see this point in myself of how I hold onto things (Guilt) so much until I literally can no longer move, where it just weighs me down and weighs me down

I must keep an eye on this point to make sure I am not accumulating the rocks of guilt where I am then racked with guilt which make it very difficult to move/express. Because in a way it is like I do not even notice I do it and then all this shit just builds up and pile on and I get stuck in my tracks. I mean if you look at the drawing –  that is some Extensive Shit there – I mean that is like holding onto the shit until it is well beyond practical – And this is something that I see I have done in the past as well, Simply not forgiving myself for my past but just hanging on until it is just to much and I end up having no other choice to just let it go.

So I will continue my process of walking self forgiveness and work on this point of actually supporting me to Learning how to let go and forgive myself rather than just have all this shit pile up within me.

Watch The Timeline’s of Transformation by these Destonians who decided to walk the process of self change, self investigation and self forgiveness

Maya
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5D6B961D83CFCE99
Malin
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL25E95574AAF58A81
Ann
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0CA747E54AA4A30D
Niklas
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL81DE39D527B661E7
Andrew (Me)
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL735D8A50910965D6
Kim
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL735D8A50910965D6
Marlen
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCC6C700A73112C6B
Matti
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8DCCBB998644F2C3
Anna
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0C97A56FDC7D704F
Viktor
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCDF6C7A72E5857AB

 

Also for Self Supportive Products Visit to assist and support within your process of Self Honesty and Self Stablization Visit – Eqafe.com

Featured Eqafe.com Product

What is Sex? introduction. – 6 Part Series of Audio Recordings – Why and how and for what purpose sex became part of the creation-design of the Human-Race

 

http://www.desteni.org

http://www.desteniiprocess.com

 

Advertisements

5 Comments

Filed under AndrewGableArtist, Artist, eqafe.com, Re-Creating Self and this World

Writing as Self Support – My Fingers have a mind of their Own.

Ok, I am going to pick up on a point that I came across while writing last night which was the point of directing myself in relation to energy from the perspective of “energy” and “experience” of self, being the starting point of self movement.

For some context Here is a quote by Bernard Poolman:

“your real life on earth move by actual breath as time –from the first breath to the last breath – and breath determines the effectiveness of living on earth. The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you. The more you live by breathing as timekeeper, the more you will notice the kazillions of nonhuman beings on earth.”

So with regards to the point I mentioned above, this quote by Bernard Poolman offers a context for how one “should” direct and move self – That being rather by/within breath instead of as/within the mind as energy.

Basically what I was looking at last night was that how there always seemed to be a kind of “anxiety” within myself that pushes me in this direction or that. Within this I found I was much less effective in what I was doing due to what I was doing being subject to this anxiety/energy/experience of myself that constantly push me and influence my moment to moment expression as living application.

This point actually showed itself this morning as well as I sat down in front of the computer to write. I was simply sitting down to write as a point of self support. To just direct myself to write as a way to support me to start being able to see myself and become more aware of myself where in writing is a tool to develop self awareness and also self stability. Self stability from the perspective of supporting myself to slow down within and as myself and not spend all my time existing in the mind or in some experience of myself that is influencing me where I end up feeling like I am just along for the ride with no directive principle at all, with no ability to be deliberate and specific and directive within my expression what ever I might be doing, because there is this kind of force pushing/forcing me along and in this I end up skipping over things and rushing things and not being as specific and deliberate as I could and thus within a greater context end up creating and manifesting my world from the starting point of skipping over things, rushing and not being specific – thus this has implications that flow out into the very creation of my life/world/ as my immediate surroundings as well as the world as a whole – lol…Ok getting back to the point.

Today as I sat down to write, I shot “out of the gates” like a race horse blasting towards the finish line. My fingers hardly keeping up. It wasn’t long before I lost track of what I was writing and everything became like one long drone or run on sentence where I experienced me as not really supporting myself in the writing anymore due to this point of feeling a bit “out of control” like my fingers and what I was writing had a mind of its own. So this is showing me that how I am more existing in mind in my world and that when I go to write, the mind attempt to assert itself as the governing principle of me – though what I have found is that the tool of writing supports in stabilization of self in by supporting the slowing down of self even though initially “out of the gates” or in other situations the mind attempt to position itself as the dominant directive principle, so yes, it will not be an automatic correction but like anything I see simply requires consistent application for effective support.

This reminds me of a conversation I had with Bernard while I was in South Africa. This conversation was quite long, somewhere between 1 and 2 hours. During the discussion one of the points that was mentioned was how when I speak it’s like within myself my mind races way ahead and I end up trying to keep up with mind and in this my communication is not effective. I always enjoy seeing people who are very stable in their communication where they are “Here” within each breath as each word they speak and their mind is not just racing a mile a minute inside themselves going all different directions, but rather it is like they are stable and here and silent. In this their communication is much more effective and stable.

So in essence this morning I see the point was “my mind” racing a mile a minute, and instead of stopping and slowing myself down, I ended up initially getting caught up with trying to chase down my mind or keep up with mind as it just races all over the place.

For me that is one of the points in using writing as a tool to support me – The point being to assist and support myself to slow down and stabilize myself within me. So I am not constantly running around in my mind. And so in writing I can take the opportunity to slow myself and make sure I am not running/chasing after the mind but that I am here and specific and directive in the placement of my words.

So will see how this develops – it has been a point that I have been working with since I started process – which is cool in itself because before process I had never even herd a practical description of this experience that was happening inside myself to be able to support me to even know where to begin to correct the point and become more effective in my communication and writing – So yes, the point I work with is stopping the mind/energy and rather writing from the perspective of being here as Breath.

To reference again, this time a segment of the above quote by Bernard Poolman:

“The less you are aware of breathing, the more you will live in a system world where life is not honored and things like money will drive you.”

So when I started writing this morning I was not aware of my breathing and ended up being directed by the “system world” where I am “driven” by points other than Self.  Which is what I started this document off by writing about – This point I came across last night which was how I was seeing that I always seem to directed or influenced or moving myself in relation to some energy or experience of myself and rarely am I simply here directing myself within and as breath as a point of Self Direction – Self direction does not require energy or experience or some kind of anxiety to push self to move, but is rather Self moving, directing self as a Self Expression.

So I can just continue to support myself through writing and developing the point of slowing down and also identifying such moments when I end up “trapped” within my mind, within the system world and being directed by this where there is like this kind of energy pushing and influencing me like pushing me through something instead of me just walking through a point breath by breath with no urge or pressure experience within myself to quickly get to the finish line.

 

Links:

2012 – New 21 Day Breathing Challenge – Interview done on utilizing breath as practical self support

Desteni I Process – Self Development and Leadership Course

Desteni.org

 

Support Products and Merchandise available now at the EQAFE.COM

 

Freedom Blogs  – Read Blogs by many destonians who have dedicated themselves to practical self support through writing regularly on various differen

 

 

 

No 1. Beginners – Thoughts, Writings, and Self Forgiveness – Covering here the basic points that self will face as one’s Conscious, Subconscious and Unconscious Mind in initially starting walking one’s process of facing the Mind as self

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under eqafe.com, Stopping the Mind, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing

Self Forgiveness on “The Soul”

 

Self Forgiveness on Soul.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there existed a soul within me that pass over and continue existing when I die.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “not know” if there was a soul within me or not.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is more pure than me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there can be an aspect of myself that Is more pure existing independent from other aspects of myself, and in this way separate myself from the soul, where in I exist in separation to the soul.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing an aspect of myself to exist independent from me, where in it just kind of does its own thing, and within I do not direct all of myself here, and am also implying a lack of awareness of self in that there is apparently as aspect of me that is all knowing and pure, that I have not actual direct, in fact relationship with at all, but that only exist as an idea in my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that my soul is better and superior than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to have a soul because this would mean that I live forever and that is what I want. I don’t want to die because I fear dying and I like being alive, and I don’t want to die. And thus hoped that there was soul, and within this actually separated myself from my responsibility to decide for myself if I live or die, but have believed that I have no choice in the matter, as Death is “beyond me” and all-mighty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place death and the soul in the same category, where in I see the soul as good and death as black and scary.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my idea/perception of what I think death is, where I have created this whole idea of what I think death will be like, and then fear that Idea. And thus am not really fearing death, per-se but more fearing an idea that I have created within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the soul and things related to the existence of the soul as “higher than me” and within this imply that I am limited and less than, here within this physical body within this life, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within and as limitation which I imposed on myself through accepting and allowing this idea of the soul.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define the human physical body as well as this physical world as planet earth as limited and not take into consideration ourselves as limitless beings where ever we are in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to diminish myself to such an extent that I believed that I was unable to commune with the soul or anything that was from this realm, and thus existed within a state of limitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to find it hard to believe that we are not limited as/within the human physical body here in the physical

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see the soul as the ultimate good, and that in the end “man is good” because the soul is good. And to not really believe in the devil and the bad, because “that stuff can’t exist” because everyone has a soul, and a soul is good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get confused within all this information and ideas about the soul.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am automatically good, as I have accepted myself as having / being a soul, and have defined/believed this to be ultimately good, and within this I forgive myself for not considering that I AM WHO I AM, and thats that, in relation to the context of how I live in my day to day moment to moment application of self here as who I am in every moment where in “A soul is not responsible for me and who I am” I am responsible for me and who I am based on how I live and apply myself day to day, in every moment of my existence here, and also I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself as who I am into2 categories only, either being bad or good.

Thus I stop such allowances and acceptances of self. I let go of this delusion that somehow “the sou” defines me, and I realize that who I am, is who I am based on my moment to moment application of self and all of myself as me. That is really who I am. And Thus I face the point that there is “no free pass” which I had accepted and allowed myself to exist within, within believing that there was a soul. There is not free pass, there is not “guiding light” I guide myself HERE in full responsibility for and as myself and I take responsibility for my actions and I realize that my actions have consequences and this is also another way to assess who I am in fact which is not related to something that does not even exist, but that I “hold as an idea only” as my saving grace and guiding light to always guide me out of the darkness, instead of taking back my directive principle and walking Here for and as Myself in and As Total Self Direction and Responsibility for and as Myself, as Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to design an idea that act as my “guiding light” of me never having to actually walk and live for myself, walking into the darkness and trusting myself every step of the way, alone with no guiding light, but only me myself Here with and as myself as self support.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to trust me without the soul guiding me to make sure I do not fall off the path, and thus whenever I walked into a situation, placed my trust in the soul as this ultimate guiding force, instead of standing HERE within and as Self Trust, and developing the ability to walk within and as Self Trust in every moment and every situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wander endlessly in the dark while all this atrocious shit happens in this world, because I had completely abdicating my self directive principle of myself to some higher force/soul as a guiding light. Where in I placed my trust in this soul or higher force to know whats best for me, and thus I never actually grab the wheel and steer myself and direct myself for and as myself. Within this using practical common sense to sort out the mess that is here as this world and put an end to the abuse and atrocities in this world through simply by directing my actions within common sense instead of floating around where all of my directive power is placed within some higher being to decide for me, to make the right choices for me within my life, instead of me directing me here in every moment, decision and choice that I am faced with in each moment no matter how big or small.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander within my mind/idea of the soul as my guiding light, and within this never actually learn how to direct this reality that is here as the physical into a world that supports all and is best for all and is an effective reality and supports life, because I was to busy wandering around within this point of just “doing stuff” because the soul as guiding light will take care of all the important decisions in my life, and thus MISS my entire life in where I never actually direct myself within the important decisions, or any decisions and this world crumble around us as we all blissfully stair into the light, and never actually starting directing ourselves within establishing the necessary relationships, real relationships based on practical common sense and supporting what is here as this planet we live in and taking full responsibility for this and stop abdicating this to some higher force or god or soul as guiding light in all of this, where the entire world just existing in disarray within the belief that we are beig guided and directed by something more than us, like an ultimate greater good, instead of all of us here pulling our heads from our assess and start creating our world for ourselves in a way that no longer accepted and allow abuse and that actually support ourselves as life within and as our self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “dream about the soul” where I would know all the answers and do everything correctly and never make a mistake, but not bringing this point back to self and walking the practical step by step application of actually developing the ability to make effective decisions for myself instead of just “wanting this to happen instantly” in terms of how I believed the soul to be.

I forgive myself for not considering that if I am a soul than I will still have to direct myself as I do now in this life, and that “things never happen automatically” thus the point is that I simply must walk the necessary steps to become an effective decision maker so that “I know what to do” instead of thinking and believing that this will magically happen to me, without me taking responsibility for myself and leaning to walk and do this for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within believing in the soul and soul construct become passive and non-committal and subdued, where in I am never really active, and engaged within my reality in every moment where I am an active participating within and as my world, due to abdicating this responsibility to the soul within accepting the idea that the soul essentially is guiding me and making my decisions anyways.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never really learn how to commit myself to a decision and follow through with that because at some point I would give up and not take responsibility for my world, because I believed the soul was taking care of this anyways and thus “it would turn out for the best”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look to the soul for answers to my questions about life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because there is no consequence that I see/experience in a moment of actions, that this means its “ok” and within this not consider the consequences that flow-out from such actions and that will in the end create and define my world and who I am.

Thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that just because I do not immediately see/experience a consequence related to my actions/self doesn’t mean that there isn’t one.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my “best interest” to a higher power, instead of directing this as who I am in every breath as every moment of my existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self direction as hopeless

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within realizing that I must move and direct myself, actually go into a point/experience of fear of actually willing myself to move and direct myself in all situations and events in this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as powerless within this life because I could never get clear answers from the soul. And that I did not trust myself to direct myself in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted myself as limited through by accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation from life where in I saw/see/perceive life to be “so much bigger” than me and how could I be equal with/as life in order to make decisions that affected life. And thus I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to see me as inferior to life, and inadequate in relation to life, always placing myself beneath life and never actually able or capable of standing equal and one with life, and directing myself as life and directing life as myself equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I would fuck life up if I had the responsibility to direct life, and thus never saw myself as capable of having the responsibility to direct “the greater life” that is here, not realizing that I am in fact doing this already in every moment that I am here, in my moment to moment living application of self.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop the idea within myself that “man is useless” because everything that ever showed a high skill level was attributed to “the divine” and so accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way to “become better” was to have god or the divine possess me and express through me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that really good art was done by the hand of god, which implied that the “soul” was the ultimate creator/expressor and had some magical meaning or insight and that man is really not capable of this, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “look for the divine” as a point of self improvement instead of developing the trust, courage and will power to do this for myself through discipline practical step by step walking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself so that the soul can exist where in I no longer direct myself as who I am as an equal part of life, but suppress myself in relation to the idea that I soul is apparently directing me and within this wonder around this world with no real, clear, decisive direction of self in my application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to regret not learning how to direct myself when I was younger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there must be some mistake, and that the way that I lived and directed myself was correct, and that how could I have lived most of my life without actually Standing within and as myself and my world as the directive principle of me and my world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in moments give up on my as the directive principle and want to rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear stopping and resting as me as the directive principle because I fear the consequences of this, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am not able to actually see the consequences of my actions/self standing in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear “going out on my own” and directing myself within and as my world in every moment because I fear facing my world and all the various, variety of situations and events and people that are out there that I must face.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being an active participant within this world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my pre-programming to direct me and shape out my world and how I live, instead of establishing/re-establishing these patterns, the patterns that I have created and developed over time within and as myself, into patterns of support, effectiveness, participation, and patterns that support in bringing forth an effectively functional world equally for all who are here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to like the idea of the soul because then I don’t have to do the hard work and actually direct myself then use this “soul construct” as the perfect excuse to be lazy and not direct myself in situations moments that are challenging.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “when things get tough – abdicate my responsibility to something or someone else other than myself directing me here in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility to direct and move me here in every moment as Life to the idea of a soul.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to say to myself “things will be ok” and within doing this, not actually directing each and every single aspect of my world effectively, clearly, and decisively but allowing myself to only direct some points half way or not at all, and then go into a state of hope which is actually delusion where I convince myself that the points will be “ok” instead of remaining here within the realization that I am responsible for ALL of myself and that what i do not give direction to, will simply no move or rather always only move in relation to the direction I give it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spend my life seeking pleasure and things I enjoy doing and to leave the rest of the responsibilities of this world to something or someone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the soul would take care of all the bigger responsibilities, and thus never considered or gave these points specific definitive direction, and rather just spent my life creating pleasure and joy for myself, while the world crumbles down all around me with me being completely oblivious to it.

And thus I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand equal to life in all responsibilities of and as life.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to establish a relationship of separation where in I have separated myself from life and the soul where in I see these aspects as “beyond me” as “out there” and carry some magical mystical, ultra intelligent, all knowing force, and within this held a point inside myself of someday at some point in the future eventually “being there” and in this simply wait for this moment due to me having defined myself as incapable of understanding or comprehending this ultimate truth, and so just waited for this and lived out my life existing within and as a point of myself as limitation, and thus accepted and allowed a world and life that reflect this idea/belief.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to establish a relationship with some form of a soul/god/higher life purpose/principle, where I am in fact standing within and as a point of inferiority and that this “higher principle” is in a position of superiority, and in this separated myself from my absolute full directive principle of myself HERE where in I am always responsible for my reality and world and self in every way shape or form with my own two hands.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate me from me and in this actually diminish and dis-empower myself through by maintaining  a point within and as myself which believed that I do not have access to myself as the absolute and full creative principle in every moment due to believing that some higher force out there control some aspect or point of myself and thus within this never had stood up as the full complete directive principle of myself and my world IN EVERY WAY, and no more believing that there is some heaven or some existence out there that is wonderful and amazing that one day I will get to experience.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within thinking / imagining / pondering about other existences or worlds, or heavens existing “out-there” somewhere, that are wonderful and amazing and beyond me and beyond my imagination where I am a kind of god and magical important super being and within this ignore, and forget and disregard this reality that is HERE, and myself and my own world the creation of myself and world IN EVERY MOMENT as every breath.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I am creating myself and world / reality as what is here in every moment of my existence as every breath, based within my acceptances and allowances of who I am accepting and allowing myself to exist as. And in this not realize the extend and absoluteness of myself as creative principle, and that I never stood as this creative principle as I was too busy abdicating this responsibility to some idea of the soul, or higher power or force out there somewhere.

I let go of all desire to experience some “other reality” out the future, and simply remain here within and as breath and realize that if I would like to experience a particular point than I must walk that into creation practically within the physical step by step and actually create the point in this reality in and as the physical, and thus it is important to consider that this creation have no consequential outflow of abuse or harm towards life but act as a mechanism of life support as a common sense consideration of who I am as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manifest, bring forth corruption on this planet through the acceptance and allowance of the soul construct within me and within others, where by “looking the other way” become a way of life and thus people begin to deceive with ease, as everyone just get so used to not taking responsibility for their actions as consequence that massive corruption take place that manifest a world of liying and cheating and stealing, and secrets, and basically attempting to live without taking responsibility for your actions .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fully accept poverty and starvation within this world and that I have accepted and allowed myself to cultivate starvation and poverty within this world by and through believing in a soul, where in I abdicate my self directive principle and not ever take full responsibility for myself and my realty, and thus leave millions to die and suffer as everyone in this world do not take full responsibility for what is here, and in relation to this, develop the ability to “ignore the consequences of ones actions” and thus end up creating and manifesting such points of poverty and starvation where millions die of hunger, that seemingly is not related to what one is doing and how one live, but in fact is a result of this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to take responsibility for myself some of the time and others its ok not to.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am unworthy because I have not been able to communicate with my soul which I perceive as worthy.

Leave a comment

Filed under desteni equallife network, destonian, Realizations, Self forgiveness - Purification

Exposing Deception Within the Words We Speak – “The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

“The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

 

I am going to have a look at the above quote and open up some aspects of deception and manipulation contained within it. It is quite interesting to see how so much deception and also abuse can exist in the words we speak, particularly in “what is being implied” in what we are saying.

 

So the first point I noticed is the complete abdication of responsibility of Self As Creator.

This phrase is initially separated into 2 distinct sections.

 

  1. “The more I appreciate and show gratitude”
  2. “the more the Universe showers on me”

 

Ok so what I see is that “the person”(who would speak/believe such a phrase) is essentially separating themselves from the universe, And placing the Universe in the position of God or some unseen, almighty, all powerful entity that is watching over us. Lol – Kind of like ones Parents do. Where if you are a good boy or girl as perceived through the eyes of the Parent (or Universe) then you get a reward.

 

What I find a common misconception with the point of Karma is that there is often a separation of cause and affect. Where many place Karma within the realms of Judgment, where that Judgment could possibly be anything, that that judgment is more “an interpretation” of the Judge like for instance, maybe you catch “God” on a good day and he lets you off easy.

 

The point not being taken into consideration is Self Responsibility

Where in one take full absolute responsibility for themselves, their actions, and the consequences there of. And not abdicating this responsibility to some god, or the universe or anything other than self. This also implies a self accepted point of limitation because if one is not standing responsible for their actions and has no understanding of how their actions influence, affect, unfold, play-out into this world then they essentially have no creative principle as themselves within their world, where in if one were to Stand within Self Responsibility and Direct Self then one is able to Direct Self in ones moment to moment, day to day living application to ensure that what is created out of their expression is that which would cause no harm to another or themselves but rather play-out in a way that is Best for ALL, that takes into consideration all life equally and is directed towards the expansion of life in a supportive, dignified way, where we actually create a world where we do not have to exist in fear of one another. So in essence this statement suggests that the author has not yet taken Self Responsibility and began the process of discovery into how they are actually creating themselves and this world within and as every breath as every moment of their existence. Like a Driver of a vehicle that will push down on the acceleration but refuse to steer the wheel.

 

This point should actually be common knowledge and a point of education in the early development of children so we cultivate beings who are Truly bringing forth an expression of Life. So that All beings are equal participants and creators of/in what is here.

taking into consideration every tiny iota of oneself and how ones expression in all aspects/faucets/nuances creates what is here.

 

getting back to the quote though…

 

“The more that I appreciate and show gratitude, the more the Universe showers on me.”

 

You  can see that the person is still existing as a Self accepted slave to the universe waiting for the Universe to deliver them with all that they want. As long as one is existing in separation instead of standing within and as Self Responsibility as Creator of Self and Self’s experience and world, one will always Exist in a state of hope, of waiting, of darkness actually because they never really know or or find out how “it all works” It would be much easier to simply “grab the wheel” and give yourself some Direction. No longer “waiting” for this to be, maybe, done for you that is if you show enough gratitude.

No more waiting for the Universe to Decide your Fate. But rather taking this point into ones own hands and directing self in every moment to create for self a world that is supportive to self and others.

 

Another massive point of Deception in this statement is the author is not taking the practical side of reality into consideration nor looking at how this world actually “showers” abundance on individuals.

 

So A point I want to look at Here is the point of “The System”:, and the point of Creating Systems as a reflection of ourselves. Systems as that which is that which is actually manifesting the “good life” for some, and poverty and starvation and suffering for others. Because the point here is that the author of such a statement is definitely wanting the universe to shower some kind of abundance upon them but is not seeing how abundance is actually delivered in this world, and that the Universe does not deliver abundance, rather, it is the System(s) that we have created that does this. Particularly the Money Mystem.

 

For instance I could “pray” for money or show much much gratitude and hope the Universe delivers me the goods. Or I could simply play by the rules of the system, where in getting myself an education, and then high paying job to earn an effective income to then utilize the functionality of the system to produce abundance so to speak.

 

Also Gratefulness has really got nothing to do with it. This can be seen by the fact that those who really “have it all”, who really can do what ever they want and live a life that so many others can only  hope and dream about, are the ones who are simply at the top of the Money System and this does not mean that they show the most gratitude for life. Thus it is Money, not Gratitude that is actually the point which bring a life of abundance in terms of how this world is currently functioning. And furthermore  Money has got nothing to do with gratefulness as those who are really rich and living the life are in fact completely more likely to be completely ignorant of Life in fact, otherwise they would be directing themselves and their money towards a solution for all and supporting all beings equally where in this is NOT at all the case but rather they are just simply continuing to live the dream in deliberate ignorance of the millions upon millions of starving dying beings in this world, or those dying in unnecessary wars and acts of violence and abuse  and all the other wonderful outflows of our current system making possible an abundant lifestyle for those at the top, Lifestyles  that are NOT an indication/reflection of gratitude at all, but in most cases must actually deliberately abuse and harm life so that they are able to remain in their position of wealth and abudance. This, indicating to me rather a complete disregard for life.

 

Thus perhaps this statement should be revised a bit

 

 

“The more I deceive, disregard life, and place myself above all others, the more the Universe as the current  Money System showers on me.”

 

There that’s more realistic.

 

So basically the point being missed here in this original quote is that if one look practically how we have organized ourselves within this world, we have in fact done so through and as a system. And it is through this system that goods and resources and ultimately ones life is “delivered”. And that Money is the Keystone to this System, which one does not get by “being grateful” But rather by knowing how the rules of money work and thus applying those rules and generating money.

 

That is why we as Desteni are presenting an Equal Money System.

An Equal Money System as an actual living expression of Gratefulness. Because at the moment I see a lack of gratefulness in this world, an immense lack of gratefulness indicated and reflected by and through the System we have put in place to manage ourselves on this planet within our lives. A system that as I have illustrated is not actually aligned with Gratefulness at all, but more with Greed, Ego, and disregard of Life.

 

Thus from my perspective a living application of Gratefulness is to Direct ones moment to moment daily living in such a way where ones actions and expression go into the correction of ourselves as the correction of the current system we have placed as our creation at the moment, that which is essentially providing for us “our lives” and so to  bring forth as our creation a  New System based on Equality, and Best for ALL which takes ALL life equally into consideration and does not have as part of its functionality such atrocious outflows such as war, as starvation, mass poverty, animal abuse as well as to “shower” money and riches  on those who in fact disregard life to the extreme.

 

Ooops. We really messed this current system up. Thus we correct ourselves and place a New System, a more effective system, a system based on the principle of “best for all” and “Equaliy and Oneness”

 

Thus investigate The Equal Money System as a Corrective System to replace the current capitalistic system.

 

www.equalmoney.org

Leave a comment

Filed under equal money system, Re-Creating Self and this World

Auto-Andrew and being Half-Here

I was reading some blogs just now and then half way through one of these blogs I realized “oh, I am not actually reading this blog” Have you ever noticed that with yourself when your only “Half Here” when you are reading something and just skimming through it.

What A fuck up. I mean if I am going to read something I may as well actually read the thing, no point in just skimming over it to “get it done” which was what I was doing. I also wanted to write this blog, and was separating myself into multiple places at once instead of being completely Here within the single point I am directing.

So first I will right this then, go back and read, and give myself the proper time and give that which I am reading my complete attention so I actually do read it, from the perspective of not separating myself into multiple places at once but being Here with myself as I read.

Interesting that this way of only “Half Reading” something has become so normal that I don’t even notice when I am doing it from the perspective of not realizing or seeing that I am in fact not really reading but just skimming my eyes over the information.

Another point that has been ‘bothering’ me today is my typing skills. I have been typing quite sloppy in my typing and not directing each finger to hit each letter in its correct placement but rather letting the hands just kind of type the words by themselves which cause me to have to go back and make many corrections, so rather thus, Be Here in typing. And Direct each letter as I type. So just some corrections in reading and typing to support myself to Be Here within my world so that it is Me Here in Full Awareness Directing myself so that I am not just running on AutoAndrew

 

Fuck I even noticed this “AutoAndrew” today also while driving, and I mean that is when accidents happen, when one is not completely here and completely present with self while driving. So noticed a few instances of this today where I have become ‘accustomed’ to a certain experience of myself, that I have come to accept. However this ‘experience’ which I have become ‘used to’ is not such that I am Here and fully present, directive and aware of my environment or myself. So I must flagPoint this.

 

So the point here is to identify / flagpoint this “normal self” which has become the dominant self in my day to day activities, and to assist and support myself to Stop myself from existing on auto pilot or only being half here, and assisting and supporting myself to identify when this occur and to stop and correct myself from the perspective of ensuring I am Fully Here, within and as Full Self Awareness in the Moment. And ensure that it is me here that is moving/directing my body, and that I am aware of my each and every movement, and each step that I take and make sure that I am the one taking each step and that I am not just on auto pilot. So to assist and support myself to become aware of each and every movement I make within my day, and make sure I am HERE within and as each and every movement/moment. And within this Stop participating / living in the mind, as thoughts, daydreams, pictures, emotions and feelings. And support me to bring through Me as Self Awareness, Self Presence Here in each and every breath. So that a New Me Emerge who is Actually Self Aware and Here in each and every breath and who directs oneself in the best interest of ALL.

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Re-Creating Self and this World

Equality Either Lives or Dies by Your Hand.

I see that I wanted equality to manifest, to happen, and then YAH it would be here, be accepted and then one would be able to expressive themselves within this point of equality. Yet I missed the point of “how it would get here” I missed the point that this is actually directly related to my participation. I did not see this, even though I have been told this before, numerous times, but this point escaped me, This point as the clear blue sky became clouded and foggy and I could no longer see this point but all I see is the clouds and the fog. So there is a momentary clearing here so I am writing this down as a record of what I see. I see that Equality is directly related to my participation and expression as equality. The equality that I see and have come to understand within my participation in process is a point which not many see, and this “Not Many” is less than what I even perceive I am sure.

I see that I was waiting for equality to come.
I see that I did not see myself as the one to bring forth equality.
I see that my direct participation with and as equality is directly related to if, when, and how equality emerge.

Thus if I hold back, if I wait, then equality sit there dormant. Why…My understanding is as follows.
Because people do not understand what equality is as it is being shared in process. Equality is not programmed, meaning it has no points to connect to within the current system. It has no place in the current system. Equality does not exist within this world as this world is this system which has no room for equality…why? Because equality will destroy the system. Why would anything make room for something that will destroy it. Lol.

This world is designed to make sure than anyone which support life and self expression feels inadequate. As they become inadequate in the system as that which they support is actually not a part of the system, thus it cannot connect to the system, they cannot connect to the system and end up with not system support, no money, no voice, and perceive themselves as inadequate.

So yes I see that I had “sat back” and was waiting. Waiting for more people to come forth and support equality, not considering the point that these people do not just “come forth” but that they must be ‘gotten’ meaning, would I have even realized the point of equality if I had not see a desteni video. Unlikely as I see that the context that desteni presented was not something that I had herd anywhere before. It was as if the entire context of Desteni was “out of this world”

Equality is not pre-programmed but must be a self-directive Act. Meaning nothing is going to come to me and say “Hey please talk to me about equality” or I am not going to suddenly stumble upon some ‘outlet’, out there in the system that is a match for my equality ‘plug’ Essentially I see that I and that we within the desteni process are the source of equality and thus it is not “out there” anywhere. We are the very edge, the very outside ripple of equality expanding through our self will and self direction into an ocean that has never touched equality before.
Like giving birth to equality if those that stand for equality sit back and wait, then equality also sit back and wait.

I have yet to take an “active role” in bringing forth equality by introducing it to others, yet I now see that if I do not introduce it, if I do not bring it forward and place it into someone’s life, they will never see it. They will never have the opportunity that I had when desteni place themselves into my world through by placing the website and placing the videos.

It seems difficult at times when my entire world do not understand equality, but it is common sense that if I sit back and wait…that, because the entirety of my world is not aware of this point, that there is no point within my world that will bring this point of equality into it. Thus I cannot wait for it. I am the point within my world that must bring forth the point of equality and the emergence of equality is from this perspective my responsibility. The question is. Why do I give up and give in on this point – Do I really want equality in my world. Am I really willing to do what it takes to bring this point forth into my world so that equality does not only exist within my bedroom! But exist also in my household, my world environment, etc. If I do not ‘spread’ equality than thats it, it stops. ‘Spreading’ Equality is not preaching equality. I cannot convince someone of equality, but I can ‘introduce’ it to them. So that is the point I see. That I am able to introduce equality into my world. And that within this context, Equality either Lives or Dies by my Hand

2 Comments

Filed under equal money system, Life Experiences, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing