Tag Archives: mind control

I turn into a Zombie on Saturdays

I was at work today. Today my mind was rattling on as I was digging this one trench. And also during the day the point came up of the mind wanting to go somewhere else, like going home. I was looking at this point of how at work there is moments where I get fixated on this point of wanting the end of the day to come. Or even like wanting lunch to come. Where the entire time I am working I am looking at my watch or the time for that moment when I can finally break. And I was looking at that experience that occur within me when I get off work. That moment of elation that wash over me as I am finally done now and safe in my car and can drive home. So definitely see that This is a mind point that occur everyday after work, when work is finally done and I have this feeling experience come over me like a momentary high. I see that the point would be to simply walk through that transition without going into an emotional experience of being done work but simply walk through as breath and not accepting and allowing the change in environment to create this experience of self which I give power to. I mean why not just be stable here as self all the time, instead of existing at work within the perception of me as a slave waiting to be free at 5:00pm. Another dimension I was looking at also is that the mind wants to escape points of facing self that we have accepted and allowed and now must face, thus mind does not want to work all day, which is actually a point of walking through what we have created as this world and so at work the mind keeps attempting to run and to escape by dreaming about being home instead of here within and as the task at hand.

I was also noticing this in relation to what day of the week it is. For instance today was Saturday and even though it was my first day back to work in a few days I still approached the day like it was a “Saturday” and so I saw this influence point coming up as kind of an “attitude” or accepted and allowed “approach” to “who I am” in relation to Saturdays, specifically when work is involved. I have been aware of this point before from the perspective of simply walking each day the same from the perspective of establishing self within a point of stability where self is not defined and directed by what day of the week it is rather direction/expression of self is determined by Self in every moment, not by some repeating cycle that cycles as the 7 days of the week going through this particular energy cycle. So I I “re-noticed” this point  today. Its like I become this hypnotized by my own definition of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become when it is Saturday. This means that I can/am able to relax more????lol WTF So the other days of the week I am not allowed to relax and I must be tense? Shit that’s interesting because I see that Saturdays I am actually more relaxed due to not feeling stress to work, like the other normal working days of the week. Basically showing me that I am allowing a program to completely determine my experience of self where I am generally more stressed during the week then Saturday I have programmed in that I can be more relaxed so then I do so. WAFU (what a fuck up)  So My Saturday Program means at work that you really take your time and drag your ass, and take long breaks – Its quite strange because even if there is points to direct at work, and there is lots to do, one still  allow the “slack” point to dominate and influence how one move.  And also that this point is unanimously accepted by others so if you decide that you are going to be directive it throws everybody off and you are going against the grain, so just a way how we have all agreed on these particular definitions in terms of how we function within this world and its just accepted and if you do something different you really fuck people’s life up. So This is a point I see I can give some direction to, where I stop adjusting who I am according to what day of the week it is and just direct me within and as breath within a more constant and consistent application of self and stop accepting this pre-programmed reality to determine how I move an function within this world.

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Re-Designing My Life

So I was busy sending out resumes today. I will be focusing primarily on this point until I get myself a stable job. This is Step One. A step which “went out the window” not to long after I arrived back in Canada, and by “went out the window” I mean became lost within the constant and continuous swarm of thoughts, feelings and emotions of the mind, to the point where this simplistic common sensical first step was not effectively walked or established. Humbling to say the least that it has taken me a year to get to back to step one and realize that I had not effectively placed this step.
I see that this will require diligence to effectively establish. From my perspective I should walk this basic simple step of working a consistent job for a year.
I see that I must practically design my life based on principles. And then within sticking to and walking these principles that I am actually able to change myself. I see that I had not actually effectively “placed a design” so to speak, which to ‘follow’ and because of this, I fell back into following my pre-programmed life.
Interesting. The whole point of Desteni, and Process is for one to Step Out of their pre-programmed life. This means that for every program that one is living as their pre-program, one must effectively place an “alternative” so to speak, where one essentially lay out for oneself, how they are going to walk, how they are going to communicate, how they are going to move, to sleep, to speak to shit, to breathe. How one is going to interact with others, where one is going to get money, how they will go about getting money. Everything must be considered.
One then is literally re-designing their world.
Ok so for this first “Step A” design point, I require to stabilize myself within the system by getting a regular job. This must be a full-time job working a normal 40 hour work week. A part time job will not do. That is it. It is a simple point. Yet because of my programming, if I do not deliberately place this as “what I am going to do” as a course of action, then I will then just continue to follow my programming.
Ok cool.
In terms of Content of this job. This is not priority, from the perspective that Money is the Key aspect of this element. A paycheque that comes in monthly. Content should support what is best for all within the consideration of where and how I can be most effective within process given my current placement.

At the moment I am seeing myself in Canada, where eventually I will have a House and Land. In terms of Education, I am not clear on this yet.
Points I am looking at

Education
Psychology
Politics

not necessarily in that order.

Another aspect of this re-design, is that it will be based on principle. There will be no “feeling attached” to the words as the design as the steps that I will take. It is simply using mathematics to equate what point will accumulate to the next in the equality equation and amount to what is best for all.

Anything to do with “feeling” is the mind, is my programmed life, and thus I must place the points in practical common sense, and stick to them within and as principled living.

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Writing Self to Freedom – "Hitting the Jackpot!" – October 30/2010

Today was an interesting day. I was at the “Market Collective” which is Arts and Crafts fair in the city I live in. So basically I had a table with drawings for sale. I decided to not sell paintings and drawings at this market and just focus more on selling the drawings, in particular the “Comical Sense” Drawings as I find with these drawings there is actually “something there” which is pretty cool. I Find my past work is ‘empty’ so to speak, and so find working with the “Comical Sense” stuff more fulfilling and enjoyable, as it is no more just “something to look at”. We as Consumer Society has place so much emphasis on the ‘picture’, on “the surface” that this “something to look at” has become that which we focus on. And the goal of the artist has become to make that “something to look at” as cool as possible, placing all of the emphasis on this, where the practical, functional, useful element of art steadily disappears.

I mean even if one look at how we has human beings present ourselves. All of the emphasis is placed on the picture, and we attempt to arrange that picture presentation of ourselves in as many ways as possible attempting to within this find some satisfaction within ourselves.

So much of the emphasis gets placed on the picture that we have forgotten in a way, that there is anything inside.

So in terms of the age old question of is it art that imitates life or life that imitates art, it is simply irrelevant considering that both are in the same boat anyways – stuck on the surface.

I sold one drawing today. Its the first one of the comical sense that I sold, it was titled TOMB-orrow (tomorrow) the guy that bought it like the skeleton imagery.

It was quite a release because I noticed this particular thought construct coming up a few times in the day.

The pattern/construct would start with the thought of first

 

-Noticing that I had not yet sold a drawing while watching others sell their work

-Then comes like a fear of believing that I have done something really wrong

-Like I have an innate mistake built into the structure of me

– Like a huge gap or something where I am “missing a point” or “understanding” which is why I

have not sold

-Then I experience a feeling/emotion experience of sadness mixed with hopelessness/helplessness

– Then thoughts of my dad come up, like I will end up living out the same pattern he did which is like

ending up as a “starving artist” kind of thing

 

Its interesting this construct came up a few times during the day, but I was mostly aware when this construct came up so simply did not “go into it”

 

 

When I sold the drawing it was like a release in a way of this construct, like

 

“I am not totally crazy”

Which actually indicate that this particular thought exist inside me before hand, like I thought/believed I was being delusional with “trying to sell art”

This point of “believed delusion” also being linked with the experience of hopelessness.  Thinking that I am in fact so delusion and that I am not even able to see it.

 

I noticed also sometimes, the thought coming up of

 

“Why do I have to do this”

Here I see this as a kind of attempting or wanting to escape from this whole experience I am going through of selling art in this world, where so much of the time, I want to just quite, even though I do see the point of what I would prefer is if I was actually able to sell the stuff, like if I actually made some consistent money with it then I would actually not want to quite selling art. So its not actually related to the “ACT” of selling art that I am opposed, just to the point of that I have not made any money or sold very effectively over the years.

 

At the moment, I am pushing the work I make now to be as educational as possible, where one can actually be supported by that work or piece when they see it and it isn’t just something you “put up because its nice”

 

This way I can actually not feel guilty for selling it to people, because before this point was quite allot – feeling guilty for selling work to people.

 

I mean what is real value. Value has become so distorted in this world that it has “lost touch” with reality. From my perspective value is not something “made up” but rather based on equality, meaning, you plant one seed, you get one carrot.

 

And this value is based on the actual physical movement of this reality, like for example the physical movement of a carrot growing into maturity. Value grounded in the earth.

 

And so art should be “valued this way” where it is grounded in earth so to speak.

 

Based in the “Equality Equation” that desteni present of 1 + 1 = 2

Our current money system, the very nature of money is based on deception. Where one is attempting to cheat reality, like saying 1+1=7 or 100 or what ever they can convince another it is worth. There is not actual basis for value these days – it is completely based on an idea – which exist in the mind.

 

This money system is so fucking tempting – Because essentially value is based on what someone will pay for it – not how much it is actually really worth so to speak. So people “buy in” and play the game, attempting to generate income through distorting value through the current money system where say one person might sell something to someone for 1 dollar, than this person turns around and sells it for 100 dollars – This is completely fucking with planet and the actual equilibrium of the physical earth. And showing the value of a product is not actually based on the actual physical value of the substance related to the earth and how this support humanity to live on this earth in equilibrium.

 

This is one reason why I support a new equal money system – because it will “normalize” everything, so that we actually start Interacting with our planet on a 1+1=2 foundation.

 

It is interesting I notice this “temptation” of the money system within myself where I see the point of “if I could only get people to buy my art for ‘x’ amount of money, than I wouldn’t have to worry about getting a job or paying my rent or anything like that, because there is this “jackpot” point that exist within this current money system, like if one could only convince another to pay that “jackpot” amount for their product, then they could really get allot of money for very little work. It is such a fuck up, because Im sure there are many out there who would read this and think – “Well what’s wrong with that”

 

Well fuck – a outflow of this current manifestation of ourselves is millions dying of starvation, wars, murder, I mean how is that “OK” .

 

We as humanity have begun to “make things” in the hope of hitting that “jackpot” within the system. Because it is possible for everyone of us to actually do. Like the carrot dangling in front of our eyes just out of reach.

 

We lose sight of the consideration to actually create something that will benefit humanity. Then the products we create, really don’t consider if they are actually of use in this reality at all but more so – can I make money from it. And this is fucking with our evolution as a human race, as an existence.

 

This is why I Support and Equal Money System as proposed by Desteni – www.equalmoney.org Because here the principle foundation of our movement in this reality would be How will this benefit humanity, how will this benefit life. I mean what is the actual outflow of the decisions I make and the evolution of humanity. I mean every action we make, every thought we think, has ripple effect, outflow on this existence. Thus the point here is to take into consideration what you actually in do, and what you actually think. And to consider “does this thought or action have the best interest of humanity in mind”

Once this consideration is in place and all beings on this planet have placed this point as the starting point of themselves, of there every thought, word, and deed, then we will be actually evolving as LIFE.

 

Until then we are simply only considering ourselves and not how we actually influence this world.

We think or believe that “oh it is just my life”

 

I mean when you die then what – your life is over? – You did the best you could – Do you really understand reality – do you really understand what is going on this planet – this existence – Is this world we have accepted really the end all be all.

 

Have we considered what it actually means to change.

 

Or are we too afraid what our friends will say if we actually change.

If we actually consider something so different that it is met with massive resistance.

 

From my perspective than we at least know we heading in the right direction – because we require a massive change on this earth.

 

I mean to stop war will take the implantation of a new system, an implantation of new way of being, of living that will be not like what is here now.

 

Suggest to investigate Desteni and Equal money system for those who are not afraid to actually change.

 

www.desteni.co.za

www.equalmoney.org

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