Tag Archives: judgement

My apparent problems not actually Real.

So over the last week, I basically stopped applying myself and gave up on myself for a moment allowing myself to go into a form of depression and existing in the mind. Allowing myself to believe that this depression and “way I am feeling” actually has power over me and there was “nothing I could do”. Though I see now that this is not so – In one of the recent desteni videos I watched, the point was mentioned of how people who are homeless don’t have the luxury to have addictions as their world simply does not permit it as they are forced in a way to just focus on survival and do not have time to entertain addictions or such points of self interest. So this is the point that came up today as I was looking at this point. I realized that my application of depression and giving up myself was simply not valid as it really was only considering myself. I had given power to this application of “being depressed” and believed that there was nothing I could do to get out of it. As I simply did not have the will to direct myself within my world to do the necessary actions to support what is best for all. “Well how convenient for me”. Having food, internet connection if I want it, warm bed, movies to watch, house to live in, all of this, and there are millions dying this instant because they have no food to eat or basic support, and here I am not willing to support because I have some “emotional problem” I mean take away my food, my home, my car, my internet, my basic support, then I will have a real problem. As along as I have the basic physical support, food to eat, place to sleep, I have no excuse for why I am not applying myself in every moment. If I am unable to find the will to do it for myself, then I do it for those that are starving to death right now, as this is what I would want if I were in their shoes, for those that are actually capable of applying and directing themselves in this world to do so to support those that at the moment are not able to. So in Self-Honesty if I dare utter the word, it is obvious that I was only living/existing in Self-Interest, and not actually looking at my Actual self-honest experience/situation of me where really there was nothing but my own self created/accepted emotional problems standing in the way of me directing myself to support what is best for all. In other words, there was really nothing standing in my way at all. I guess though I was judging myself quite a bit, and was/am dealing with layers of emotional shit which actually becomes a physical experience of self, but I mean in asking the question of if I am doing all I can do to support and direct myself the answer is no, and that it is clear that despite who I believe myself to be, I am still physically capable of supporting much more effectively than I am at the moment. Ok.

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Filed under Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing

Applying Self Forgiveness – Dependency

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to fear doing something in this world, anything in this world, that I do not know exactly how it will go.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of possible of making effective decisions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up ‘myself’ from the perspective of who I have created myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will never “break through” and that every decision I make will only further enslave me as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a slave to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply believe that there is something innately wrong with me, and thus fear being trapped with me as me, as I believe that I am not able to make effective decisions, or create a life that is enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving into a “new life”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trapping myself in my own deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the idea that “I am deceptive” power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a point of belief that I am not able to know who I am and actually see each point clearly when directing myself in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the point that I am less than others in my application, and will always be this way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘want’ to be equal, which is actually just indicating that I have already accepted my inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need, want, and desire someone else to show the way, or explain what is up with me instead of embracing myself as self direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is something wrong with receiving assistance and support from another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if someone point something out to me that I am weak and that this is a confirmation of my weakness and their superiority.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is always something innately wrong with the situation so am constantly existing within and experiencing myself from this perspective of believing that I am doing something wrong and that I must fix the situation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself in how I direct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to make decisions that support me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the idea that we are all slaves, all lost, and not capable of standing up for what is equality and best for all.

I forgive myself for not allowing me to apply myself in simplicity and actually looking self honestly at my situation and getting to know myself, so to create  a foundation of support and stability for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for what see as having made a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire to be perfect in this process instead of just realizing that I am me within this process, and to not judge me for that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to show others that I can do this, and how I can support myself and stand within equality, and in this missing the point of myself, of doing this process for me, and using myself as a reference point where in I develop self trust from the perspective of seeing to the core of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “create a problem” where there is none.

I forgive myself for accepting defeat in something that I have not even walked yet, from the perspective of simply believing that “any decision I make will not be the right one”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must make the perfect decision every time and not make one single error.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to fear regretting not doing art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will ultimately compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will ultimately compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my trust in something outside of me instead of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in others outside of me instead of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my experience and what I will do according to who is involved, and within this place my trust and dependency on others instead of standing as the point of self trust and dependency where I am the source of myself, my self enjoyment, my self reliability and stability in all moments, in all situations, in all events, I am the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to find myself in something outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone, and that my experience will then be miserable because I will have not one to depend on to make my experience of myself better, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate and place my trust in another and others outside of myself.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and embrace the point of equality, where all beings and points are equal to myself and thus it will not matter who I am with or what I am doing, as within equality one simply stand stable, here, with no matter who, in all situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire others to provide for me the experience I am looking for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope to meet someone to provide for and give to me, a particular experience of enjoyment, and excitement and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility of myself actually doing this for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define other by according to how the look as a picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and desire satisfaction within communication with another in through who they are as a picture, and thus look for communication with those who “fit a certain template” of a picture presentation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a picture, who only communication and interact with other pictures that look like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a picture and within doing this limit myself within my world extensively be believing that my communication and or interaction with others will only “give my what I want” or “be enjoyable” with those who look like me or are similar to me as a picture of what I have accepted and allowed myself to represent as a picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself in self intimacy within communication/expression with others to only be able to do this if the other person fit into a specific ‘type’ of person instead of seeing myself within equality with all beings, and thus being able to interact and communicate in self intimacy with all beings equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that If I am ‘intimate’ with another who does not ‘match’ my idea of my “personality type” than I am somehow diminished.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within a position of superiority over other beings.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to embrace the point of actually being able to be intimate in expression and communication with all beings equally not matter what they look like.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see the point of equality within all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being self intimate with all parts of myself, but hide in fear and shame with regards to some.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and go into shame with regards to who I have accepted myself to become, instead of forgiving myself and allowing myself to communicate equally to all parts of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to face all parts of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto judgements of parts of myself.

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Filed under Life Experiences, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing