I am going to write about my day today. The first point I will discuss happened as I was walking through town going from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ as a was busy doing “system stuff” meaning, getting my taxes done, and dealing with banks and things of this nature. As I stopped at the street corner, waiting for the walk signal to appear on the machine across the street so that I could proceed, I noticed that there were two guys standing on the other side of the street representing some “not-for-profit” organization and they were surely going to ask me if I was interested. I already knew that I was not interested, and simply had planned to walk straight through. The interesting point I noticed as approached the two individuals was the way in which I presented myself as I passed by. As I drew closer I noticed that I began to change my posture towards the two individuals and presented myself in a way which clearly demonstrated that “I was not interested” however within this, I noticed that I “went into a point of energy” where I noticed that I experienced myself actually projecting a kind of energy of ‘force’, almost like what you see in anime comics and videos where the being is able to generate a form of energy, often represented by a king of like blue glowing ball of energy in the beings hands which they are able to throw forwards as I kind of weapon. Well this is exactly what I did, I experienced myself as if I was projecting some kind of energetic force field which definitely was not based in equality, meaning this ‘force’ field was meant to “overpower” the two individuals in front of me, where is was to indicate “look out”, “coming through”, “don’t bother me” “Get out of the way”. The whole event lasted 15 seconds. The question that came up within me was , why did I go into this energy kind of projection presentation of myself? Why did I believe that I had to project this kind of energy? Why was I simply not able to walk past in silence where I do not going into a point of energy. If I look at the point now, my intent was to avoid any interaction at all with the beings in front of me, So I presented myself as not approachable. Although from my perspective I see that a correction is necessary, where in I do/did not require to go into a point of energy presentation and projection in that moment, but am actually able to remain here as myself, as breath, as self presence and simply walk on through, or simply face the point without resorting to energy participation. That was that event. I went to the Art supplies store which was pretty cool, I often enjoy going to the art supplies store and purchasing art supplies for upcoming art. I hadn’t been there in a long time, and am acquaintances with the owners of the store, so said hello to them, and spoke to them I little bit about where I was and why I had not been in the store in over two years, as before I was nearly a daily occurrence in the store. I purchased 4 sheets of paper – which they packaged in a large plastic bag against some cardboard so that the paper would not get damaged. I plan to use the paper to make some comical sense drawings that are a little larger in size. I find now that I am in a way restructuring art into my world so to speak. It has been so long since I lived in the city, that I, in a way have not reference point for how quickly it moves, and/or what type of pace it moves at where in I must ensure that my day to day movements and actions are in alignment with being able to support myself effectively within a city setting. So from this perspective I am still in a feeling out stage, Like I mean, can I even spend 3 hours a few nights a week working on a drawing? Or will this cause me to not be able to make my rent at the end of the month, just points like this I am looking at. Because I find now within my life I am busy arranging it in a way where I can be most effective, where my focus is to in essence “lead by example” from the perspective of what I am doing with Desteni, and the Structural Resonance Alignment course, and Standing within “What is Best for ALL” where in my day to day actions bring forth the necessary changes so to speak to create a world system that support all beings equally and support what is best for all life, and until this is in place, And to direct myself in this way until it is done, and all beings are placed within a point of Equality in FACT, where now All beings are supported equally, and have equal access to education, where beings are in a way “free” from this current system of enslavement that we have created for ourselves. Within this point I also was looking at the point today of “Making an accurate assessment” of the ‘movement’ or ‘pace’ of the city and within doing this was observing my own movement and pace, and that I realized that I was rushing slightly, meaning, If I establish my assessment of the “pace of the city” in so that I am best able to direct myself to be most effective on a “movement” from myself that is in fact ‘Rushing’ and based in ‘energy’ which inevitably will balance out, that I in fact will make an ‘inaccurate’ assessment because it will be based on a “pace” is in a way ‘exaggerated’ So from this perspective I see the point of being effective in my world will come from, not where I rush around as fast as possible and attempt to get everything done kind of assessment of how to effectively direct myself within the city, but rather a stable, constant, expression and application of myself, where I simply move, as breath. This will be sustainable and repeatable, and will give me a much more accurate assessment of what specific actions I must take and when, in order to effectively support myself within my environment. Another point I have observed myself participating in is the point of judgement towards others from the perspective of seeing myself within a kind of exalted position in comparison to others, because I apparently know more than them, or have a more expansive understanding or knowledge base of how this reality operation. Within this I see that I am not actually able to see other beings within consideration of where they are in there process, and that in fact I once stood in exactly the same position as them, and yet, here I am seeing myself as ‘more-than’ that being, and kind of presenting myself as a wise wise being. I also see within this point that I am holding others away from me, instead of embracing them as equals. And communicating with them from the perspective of equality where I stand in equality within communication and interaction, instead of kind of “standing off” or not actually allowing the other or myself to participate and interact within equality, which from a certain perspective is more intimate. Its like I form a judgement of the individual first, who I accept as that being, and then interact with them according to the judgement I have formed about them within my mind. And that this judgement actually creates a wall, a barrier in-between myself and that being which create only a very limited type of interaction with that being. Ok some observations on my day.
Tag Archives: journal