I turn into a Zombie on Saturdays

I was at work today. Today my mind was rattling on as I was digging this one trench. And also during the day the point came up of the mind wanting to go somewhere else, like going home. I was looking at this point of how at work there is moments where I get fixated on this point of wanting the end of the day to come. Or even like wanting lunch to come. Where the entire time I am working I am looking at my watch or the time for that moment when I can finally break. And I was looking at that experience that occur within me when I get off work. That moment of elation that wash over me as I am finally done now and safe in my car and can drive home. So definitely see that This is a mind point that occur everyday after work, when work is finally done and I have this feeling experience come over me like a momentary high. I see that the point would be to simply walk through that transition without going into an emotional experience of being done work but simply walk through as breath and not accepting and allowing the change in environment to create this experience of self which I give power to. I mean why not just be stable here as self all the time, instead of existing at work within the perception of me as a slave waiting to be free at 5:00pm. Another dimension I was looking at also is that the mind wants to escape points of facing self that we have accepted and allowed and now must face, thus mind does not want to work all day, which is actually a point of walking through what we have created as this world and so at work the mind keeps attempting to run and to escape by dreaming about being home instead of here within and as the task at hand.

I was also noticing this in relation to what day of the week it is. For instance today was Saturday and even though it was my first day back to work in a few days I still approached the day like it was a “Saturday” and so I saw this influence point coming up as kind of an “attitude” or accepted and allowed “approach” to “who I am” in relation to Saturdays, specifically when work is involved. I have been aware of this point before from the perspective of simply walking each day the same from the perspective of establishing self within a point of stability where self is not defined and directed by what day of the week it is rather direction/expression of self is determined by Self in every moment, not by some repeating cycle that cycles as the 7 days of the week going through this particular energy cycle. So I I “re-noticed” this point  today. Its like I become this hypnotized by my own definition of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become when it is Saturday. This means that I can/am able to relax more????lol WTF So the other days of the week I am not allowed to relax and I must be tense? Shit that’s interesting because I see that Saturdays I am actually more relaxed due to not feeling stress to work, like the other normal working days of the week. Basically showing me that I am allowing a program to completely determine my experience of self where I am generally more stressed during the week then Saturday I have programmed in that I can be more relaxed so then I do so. WAFU (what a fuck up)  So My Saturday Program means at work that you really take your time and drag your ass, and take long breaks – Its quite strange because even if there is points to direct at work, and there is lots to do, one still  allow the “slack” point to dominate and influence how one move.  And also that this point is unanimously accepted by others so if you decide that you are going to be directive it throws everybody off and you are going against the grain, so just a way how we have all agreed on these particular definitions in terms of how we function within this world and its just accepted and if you do something different you really fuck people’s life up. So This is a point I see I can give some direction to, where I stop adjusting who I am according to what day of the week it is and just direct me within and as breath within a more constant and consistent application of self and stop accepting this pre-programmed reality to determine how I move an function within this world.

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