Writing Out My Day – October 8th 2010

Writing Out My Day.

Today was a cool experience, mostly because I changed my routine somewhat so had a different experience of myself in relation to this. I Spent most of the day and night searching for a Job on the internet, and basically giving this point some serious investigation and consideration.

This point of not yet having a job has/had begun to weigh quite heavily on me, and I noticed that in a way I was suppressing myself in not taking this point on and giving it direction. Like I had begun to experience the point of my diminishment. So I spent the day looking into this point. It was quite cool, do search around and really begin to ask myself what I would like to apply myself in from the perspective of looking at the long term implications of the work I chose for myself. Last night as I “wrote out my day” I could see there was lethargy, and a kind of systematic way that that I was writing which I identified as a “time-loop” I was writing about my experience and in relation to Art, and it just seemed to reveal within this writing that there was a point I was stuck on, like a blockage, or dam, there was not flow in the words which indicate no flow in my expression of myself or in my life. So today, I took more specific direction with looking for Job. As I started walking this process and inquiring into different fields, I experienced myself as ‘opening up more’ where I could see that some of the shit I was experiencing the day before was actually just a perception or fear of what I believed would happen if I looked for a job. So I will continue with a more thorough directed search for work until I have the point in place. Because from my perspective this point was not in place and was causing a ‘rift’ in my experience of myself. Creating like an air bubble within me so to speak. I tended today to focus more on the physical labour jobs, as I inquired about some ‘handyman’ stuff and also some interior painting. I also inquired into a “dog walking” position which could be cool for the time being. All in all, I will investigate more and consider what is the direction I would like to take here in terms of “what is going to best assist and support myself and this process of bringing forth equality and how am I going to place myself within what particular skills. I mean it is becoming clear that this is not going to happen automatic. That this process of establishing equality on earth is “up to us” so to speak, and that there will be consequences to the actions and non actions we take. In a way I wanted someone to make this decision for me, in how I am supposed to place myself. What I am looking at now at the moment is tending more towards working with my hands like building up these practical skills. As this is a point which can always assist ones immediate environment. In terms of education this is not yet entirely clear – though with my training in fine art it could actually work to take on doing some kind of courses in technical design drawing so that I can develop blueprint designs for projects. I think one can get certified in this. So for the moment I am directing myself into this point of practical building skills that will support ones living environment.

In a way this actually alleviate some of the stress I was experiencing in relation to pursuing the “art point” I still cannot see any clear definitive way in how applying my time and energy towards “making pictures” will actually support me within this process. If anything I see that in fact it will actually not really support what I am doing. Though that does not mean I won’t carry one with the point, it simply means the “way I go about it will be different” I mean I enjoy working with this point, and it actually offer cool experience in product presentation, and sales, and marketing, so this I very much enjoy, and these skills are practical in what is to come though to devote all my time to this I do not see as practical. I was considering what Cam was doing today with tutoring and thought that that direction he is taking is quite specific with education, and that he in a way is killing two birds with one stone, where he has also the opportunity to work specifically with a point which Desteni Stand by within this process which is Education Development.

So in tutoring he is able to generate money for himself, and also place himself within a priority point of what is required prominently in the bringing forth of Equality.

Although and interesting point that has come up within my world is the point of Equal Labour. Why and How has this come up.  Well when one consider what is actually ‘Valid’ in this world. What will stand the test of time. One of the common questions that come up within addressing the equal labour point is that of “what is considered work, and what is considered leisure” Because for example how does one compare say the occupation of a doctor or a plumber to that of an Artist? I mean it seems that Art and Work are not the same thing. And I am finding that in fact they are not.  My experience in the point is that Artistic Expression like say dance, music, and painting move differently than say building a chair or being a doctor. Its like there are these categories of ‘occupations’ which will be required to be assessed within the point of equality to see where they are to be placed.  I mean, one cannot simply dance all day long for example of play music or paint, one will actually have to apply themselves practically as well. At the moment humanity accept Art as a Valid Occupation, which it is not from a certain perspective. Though it is definitely Valid as an expression, though its practical consequence and outflow must be taken into consideration within the context of how it actually impact reality. From my perspective I simply see the point of one existing and participating equally within a practical point as well as an expressive point.  Where Art is a luxury, not a basic need. So how the world currently exist this expression point is not in balance. It is existing exactly the same as the money system, where only a few individuals get to express themselves within applications of Artistic Expression, where millions have no option to do this at all. This is a fuck up because it also create a point of inferiority among many who have now accepted that they are simply not the “creative” type. And only if they were so lucky to be creative and expressive like the artists. Laughable is what that is. So the point here is where we will establish a world where all have equal opportunity to express creatively if they would like. And that Art will cease to exist within a point of delusional status as an occupation which can be justified to continue within the point we have placed it. From this perspective Art is Equal to how Money Currently Exist. It has been given a “value” that is not actually based on the Physical, but rather an idea that we have created. And thus is not based in physical equality.

I helped clean out a fridge here in my house today, there is allot of moving around going on at the moment. There is Massive Shift taking place here where three people are moving out of the house and two /three more moving in, so many things around the house are in the in-between stage and still in boxes. Quite interesting to see this taking place at the moment. I was discussing some tonight with one of my roommates lauren about different points. I have been specifically been pushing more points with her with regards to self honesty and just sharing some of my perspectives and what I am doing and what I stand for in terms of equality and bringing forth a new world based in equal support for all. I haven’t yet gotten to this much with my other roommate John, but am interested  in speaking more direct with the people in my immediate environment to see what the effect will be like. I noticed tonight that as I was speaking that the being I was speaking with went into a kind of resistance. I observed the point of inferiority come up within her, I mean I have been considering these points now for over 3 years, so to see this when speaking to others, that their context and ability to communicate around the point will not just automatically be there. I experienced myself as being to pushy. And saw that I could be more gentle within my approach in this instance. Not less direct, but rather building up a more stable foundation first before jumping right in and placing the being in a situation where they are obviously not able to have a perspective because they are still at the stage of considering things for the first time, so I feel like I place the being in a situation where I was not equal to the them in where they are in terms of what they are able to express around the point.

Ok thats ALL for tonight. I think tomorrow I would like to take on the point of writing during day, and do a mind construct or something.

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Filed under equal money system, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing

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