Writing Self to Freedom – Daily Writing – Sept 19th 2010

I got up around 8:30. The main point of the day has been ‘application’ . Particularly given my current situation where my days are not structured through and by working a 9 to 5 type job. So at the moment I must structure myself within my application. I have been procrastinating where I am not applying myself in that which is here to be done in that way that I could be, where I will meander about and linger in-between doing tasks and so have not been as effective with my time and space movement within the physical as I would like. I finally got my computer working again today and connected to the internet. My firefox browser would not open youtube,  but every other page it would open, quite odd. I attempted a number of things and finally corrected the point when I re-installed firefox. It was a cool experience to get to know my computer a little more and to organize it and clean it out a bit, and have the applications running clean again. Was like a kind of cleansing of self.  Once up I did some internet work, uploaded a video, and watched some process Vlogs. I have been really finding the process Vlogs to be really cool support. I mean I will watch someone’s process vlog and it will assist me with a point I am working on, and the person who posted the Vlog will never even know.  So I realized that within the structuring of my days, I would like to place a segment of time where I spend time simply watching other peoples vlogs, and basically becoming more intimate with those doing there process and sharing over the internet, so in reading forums etc. And to develop the point of actively supporting people within their process through commenting and replies. Because I see people who are quite effective with this and it is something that I would like to develop within myself as something I “would like to be”. Effective in my communication and support and interaction with others. Just pushing that point of interaction with other beings in all ways really. I noticed that I very quickly in my world go into judgement when I meet new people. Its like immediate judgement, and its a fuck up because I see how when I do that that I completely “cut myself off” from the being out a judgement that I have projected onto them that in actuality, has nothing to do with them. So Also am working on the point of not going into immediate judgement of a being, but rather more of a immediate embrace if you will, where I allow myself to let my guard down and actually interact with the being as equals.

I did some research today on ‘Art Grants’ and also to see what kind of Art related jobs there are around the city. I am at the moment also checking out what is going on in my city with regards to education and looking at different  ideas and options to place myself  within education, whether it be a teacher, or private tutor, or workshops, and also exploring ways in which to form my Art practice and Art into that which will be educational and support the emergence of equality. So yes exploring the Art world a little bit today here in Calgary. Its fucked just like everything else. So just probing it so to speak, to see what’s going on, and where, Artists, and people are placing their attention, and what points they are investigating, and how they are going about doing it. The main point is which I see, is that the Direction of things within this world, which I have been noticing quite prominently also within the direction I see the art world going, is simply self interest. Its like Every fucking Artist, has a different starting point, and heading off somewhere in their own direction. LOL! I understand how this can happen, because I was doing the exact same thing a few years back. Its like no one knows really where they are going. Scattered would be a good way to describe it. The world is scattered, and has not continuity. Fascinating to consider a world where each and every being that exist has the same starting point. The starting point of oneness and equality as that which is best for all.  The point I see also with Artists, is the point of wanting to have the big shows in the big galleries in New York or Where ever, where one in a way is locked into this idea, and there in form their practice around attempting to reach this goal – Like all artists have accepted this as the ultimate goal and have not stopped to actually consider the goal they are chasing. So in seeing these points, I find my experience with regards to Art is kind of like, where do I place myself in, Can I even place myself in, so kind of just like dipping my foot in a little to test to see what people are doing…

Ok I just created a new youtube channel called desteniArt. This way there is a platform for the reformation of Art within this world as simply one point among many that are required to be directed within and as what is best for all.

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Filed under desteni equallife network, equal money system, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification

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