First thing I will start with is I was stung in my right hand today, twice! by wasps. At the moment my hand is starting to look like a marshmellow because it has gradually swollen up more and more since being stung. There were lots of wasp nests on the cut-block we were planting today, and I managed to run into two of them. Sometimes you don’t see them because they are underground, and you end up planting your shovel right into the nest…then you run. I have not been stung yet this year, so found it interesting and “out of the ordinary” that I was stung twice on separate occasions in almost the exact same spot, that being the right hand. I hold my shovel with my right hand, so some words to describe the ‘shovel-hand’ would then be ‘power’, ‘force’, ‘masculinity’, and ‘strength’ Today I was working out of the same ‘cache’ (place where the trees are kept) with two of the stronger planters on our crew, so the point of comparison came up, and I used them as a ‘pacer’ where I would pace myself in relation to them and try and plant as fast as them. I took the opportunity to do this to support myself in building up my speed. Its like learning from someone else. Although the ‘problem’ occur when it turns into comparison where I begin to judge or define myself according to how fast I can go/plant in relation to them. When I was initially stung by the wasps I looked at the point of comparison then also and how I could see that within my mind I was busy defining myself according to the fast planters and attempting to build myself up or my personality up as to be a “fast planter” and within this also defining and attempting to place myself on a ‘higher-rung’ or ‘positioning’ within the ‘hierarchy’ of the crew. However now in looking at the point I see the point of weakness’ also from the perspective of when I was slower than the others, that I judged/believed myself to be ‘weak’ or ‘weaker’ than or ‘less than’ them. So from this perspective I am able to relate the ‘Wasp-Stings’ as being the physical manifestation of what I was already doing to myself within my mind – which was attacking/stinging and judging myself and others with regards to ‘strength’, ‘power’, ‘masculinity’.
I have been aware of and applying myself within the correction of this point, although at times find myself slip back into the point comparison.
The corrective application to this point is to plant from the perspective of SELF. Where my attention is on SELF as self discipline in breath and remaining here in full attention of SELF as the PHYSICAL, where I am aware of my breath, and each and every movement of my body, in every movement. I do not accept and allow myself to ‘rush’ as within ‘rushing’ I am attempting to push and move myself with my mind in such a way where I am no longer aware of my physical body in every movement and each and every breath. I do not accept and allowing myself and my application to be influenced in any moment particularly where/when I go into comparison towards others, within my mind.
Rather, I plant/work/live for me and do not accept and allow myself to plant/work/live from the perspective of “being seen in a particular way” – that is personality. I am equal to all beings, thus to believe that I am more than, or unique, through how people see me, is the MIND, and when I see this occur, I stop immediately and correct myself in a single breath, where I, in a moment re-establish my starting point, as SELF, as self movement, direction, discipline, within the principle of equality. I breathe and I continue with full attention here as self as the physical in and as breath.