The last few weeks have been interesting as I have gotten back into Canada and have begun establishing myself once again into this world. Reconnecting myself, plugging myself “back-in” to the matrix. This ‘integration’ back into the system has been quite a point I am currently busy walking. One of the dimensions of this “walking back into/integrating” myself back into the system has been the point of “doing this alone” from a certain perspective and experiencing the point of me walking into an environment where what I have come to understand as equality and what I have decided to “stand as” from the perspective of equality is not understood necessarily by others, and that within this, there is certain aloneness. My process of doing this has particularly been one of really being faced with ‘myself’ from this point of aloneness I mention because of the ‘way’ I have begun my integration process back into the system. My focus since returning to Canada has been the point of making money, and within placing this as priority for myself, I have not had the opportunity to “stay connected to” the internet which offers a support structure created by and through the participants of desteni to assist and support themselves and others who have decided to walk and stand as and for equality within this world. So at the moment I have had to let go of that support structure just for a moment as I get myself ‘settled’ within this world from the perspective of ensuring that I have sufficient money to support myself and be able to move and direct myself within this world. In a way there is a fear there as well, a fear that I would lose that support structure, and “get lost” within the system. So I am in a way facing this point also. Facing the point of being able to stand without the support structure which I have in a way had to do for practical reasons related to work as I get myself established.
I must say though it was a very cool experience today, as today we had a day off work and I managed to get myself to an internet connection where I could spend some time on the computer doing desteni related stuff. The ‘cool’ point was to see how the support structure on the internet of those supporting desteni and the point of equality is growing and how much this assisted and supported me within participating within this. I experienced a real point of support there, something substantial that I could/can utilize to assist and support myself in my process of “standing up” within this word. And also to see the point of others also “standing alone” in there processes where I can see that I am not actually alone in this, and that there are others also who are walking just the same as me, and facing similar points of standing up within situations and scenarios where they may experience themselves alone, or misunderstood, or frustrated, or empowered, or enjoying themselves, and in this sharing their experiences over the internet for others to see and relate to, and which may assist another in there process also. So that was a pretty cool point that came up today.