Self Forgiveness – Sept 22

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone writing, drawing, and basically my process, from the perspective that I have allowed myself to ‘not’ do those things, but instead, give in to ‘energy’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into energy as tiredness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I don’t have enough time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “in the moment when opportunity comes to either ‘push through’ or give in to tiredness/energy”, give up, through accepting and allowing myself to participate with the excuse of, I am to tired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want process to be easier from the perspective that writing and art come with ease rather than having to push myself to do them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up and give in to energy, now that I am on the farm because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “things are more difficult now” and thus give in to energy when It comes up.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to do process from me

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to exist as self will

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to push myself because I do not see others pushing themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself exist within and as pressure until finally I cannot take it and I end up getting a headache because I am attempting to do everything in my mind as a projection.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to push myself to write

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I push myself, things will become more difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off posting in the internet on my blog and facebook, and within this disregard all the starving children in the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the actual state of existence, and within doing this attempt to live out my life, and create for myself a decent life, rather than actually standing in every moment for those who are less fortunate, from the perspective of sorting myself out and sorting this world out.

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to create resistance within me, as me, and then believe that there is nothing I can do about it, even though I created it in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am currently is all I can be, and that all the shit I have accepted and allowed as myself , must remain and there is nothing I can do about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself into a point where I no longer believe that I am the creator of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want insight to come to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sit and wait for insight and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on others for insight and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that insight and common sense are more difficult for me because I am older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain a construct, a system, as Andrew Gable, instead of actually doing anything about it to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must sleep a certain number of hours each night, and if I go out of that routine of sleeping that many hours, that I must now, ‘catch up’ by sleeping more hours.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush myself, believing that by rushing myself that I will get things done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear a constant application because I believe that it will be difficult.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to quite before I even begin.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just go along with things, because its easier that way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto friendships, rather than apply myself in what requires to be done, meaning that I may not have time to chit chat and bull shit with people here on the farm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to direct myself conditionally, meaning, Not in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rest from directing myself in every moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within limitation believing that there is only so much one can do in a day, and within this, I allow myself to postpone applying myself in writing and art, where in participate with the thought inside myself of ‘there is only so much one can in a day”

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to push myself because I am tired, and would rather sleep.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pushing myself from the perspective of building up pressure inside me and causing myself pain.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider that the pressure build up which I believe causes my headaches could actually be because I do not apply myself and push myself to apply myself, and therefore, I then instead of applying myself as here as breath in real physical action, think about what I might do, or go into guilt for not doing something, or because I did not do that thing, I then think about  the thing I did not do, and this is what is causing the pressure inside me, Not applying myself physically, and pushing myself, which means applying myself physically here as breath.

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Filed under Self forgiveness - Purification

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